I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
I use my feet as sexual weapons
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
Randomize