Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Randomize
