Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
