I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
