I think i sorta joined a cult last night
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
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