Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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