Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
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