when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
Randomize
