Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
only you would photoshop your dick
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
