She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
Randomize
