You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
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