just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
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