Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
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