Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
