I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
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