This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
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