Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
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