i would punch a child for taco bell
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
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