I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
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