Plan B is the new Plan A
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
Randomize
