That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
