He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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