Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
