is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
My dad just said "fuck circus"
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