I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize