Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
