you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
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