I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
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