Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
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