It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
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