Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
youre lurking in front of me
She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
My liver is preforming stress tests.
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
Randomize
