You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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