he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
She's like a pop up book from hell.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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