Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
