Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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