And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
