Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
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