Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
Randomize
