He disabled his match.com account in front of me
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
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