I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
You are the jesus of drinking
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
Randomize
