toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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