Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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