So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
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