He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
