He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
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