He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
Randomize
