I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
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