Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
