I think scott just propositioned me for sex
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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