WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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