I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
