I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
Randomize
