gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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