Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
