Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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