That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
