just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
Randomize
