know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
Come see our sink grown plant.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
Randomize
