I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize