Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
Randomize
