sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Randomize
