How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
Randomize
