Is it normal to miss your booty call?
omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
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