Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
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