Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
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