I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
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